?

Log in

Hotaru

Another night alone....

Journal Info

Crow
Name
Hotaru

Another night alone....

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Crow
Don't your ever get those nights where you feel like you wish you never existed. I'm having one of those nights. At time's I'm happy I'm here, but I'm so over the bullshit. I'm regreting sending Jay out the door. I don't know just how much longer I can bare without him. I feel like I'm about to go crazy. I thought I was over crying, who am I kidding. How long can I take this pain. At moments, I get so mad that I just want to date someone just to move on, but I know I'm not ready. I'm far from it. I want him home so bad, it's killing me. I'm trying to stand my ground, but it's so hard. I miss his smell, I miss his voice. Most of all I miss his touch. I want to feel him so bad. His face, his hair, his body. I miss all of him so much. I probably sound crazy, but I just don't know how much more of this I can take. When is he comming home? Is he ever comming home? Does he miss me? I'm so tired I just want to fall in the deepist part of the universe and disapear. What more can I say or do to move on. I keep telling myself that he's not comming back. But, my mother's voice keeps repeating that he'll back in two months. I want to believe her so bad. But come on, who we kiddin here? I know he's not comming back. The light of hope in me is dying faster than I want it to, but there's nothing to feed it alive. What hope do I have if I'm still going to sleep by myself, without the one I love next to me. All the while I wonder, does he still love me? Only time will tell.....
Powered by LiveJournal.com